Gordie, the white boy genius, gave me this book by a Russian dude named Tolstoy, who wrote, ‘Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.’ Well, I hate to argue with a Russian genius, but Tolstoy didn’t know Indians, and he didn’t know that all Indian families are unhappy for the same exact reasons: the frikkin’ booze (Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian)